I have been wanting to start a blog for awhile to get my thoughts out there and I finally started one. My goal is to express my thoughts / feelings as well as get feedback from the readers of my blog. I don't necessarily think I am going to have a lot of followers, but hopefully those that do follow me I will get to know personally and we can help each other.
Just to give you a high level overview of my current situation, my finances, marriage, work, and social life are all crumbling around me. I sit here watching early 1990s hair bands and reminiscing how good my college life was and how I wish I could travel back in time to that time in my life. It was such a happy time in my life. It doesn't seem that long ago since college, but it was actually over 23 years ago. While I don't regret my decisions in my life, I am just not happy and wonder how I got here. The reason I don't regret my decisions is because I have 2 beautiful daughters that I wouldn't trade for the world. They are the best daughters a father could ever ask for.
I am currently in therapy trying to figure out how to be happy again. One of the things I have discovered through therapy is I need a career change. The other change I need to think about is the status of my marriage. My therapist does not think my marriage will last as my wife still has a strong connection to her parents and has never become independent of them even after 20 years of marriage. It is something I have known in the back of my head, but I guess I have just chosen to ignore it. Our marriage has been struggling for awhile due to our finances and the lack of intimacy.
I am just scared of a divorce because I don't want to lose my kids. My therapist assures me I will not lose my kids. It is something I know I need to do, but am very scared to bring up the topic. For those who are divorced, how did you handle it? I would rather not this be a difficult divorce and try to settle things amicably, but I don't know how she will feel.
I have a lot more thoughts, but it is late and I need sleep for work tomorrow morning. I will try to keep up this blog so I can get all of my thoughts out. My hope is others will read this and know they are not alone. My other thought is I hope people reading this will be able to offer me guidance on what to do.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Steve
